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RECALL NOTICE
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The Maker of all
human beings is recalling all units
manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious
defect in the primary
and central component of the heart.
This is due to a willful malfunction in the original prototype
units code
named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of
the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has
been technically termed,
"Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality," or more commonly known
as SIN, as it is primarily
expressed.
Some other symptoms:
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Foul vocal emissions
[c] Amnesia of origin
[d] Lack of peace and joy
[e] Selfish or violent behavior
[f] Depression or confusion in the mental component
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Idolatry
[i] Rebellion
The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for this
defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free
of charge to correct this SIN defect.
The
Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to
bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.
There is no additional fee required.
The toll free number to call for repair in all areas is:
P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the
REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT
from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into
the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is,
Jesus
will replace it with:
[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Patience
[e] Kindness
[f] Goodness
[g]
Faithfulness
[h] Gentleness
[i] Self-control
Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details
on the use of these fixes.
As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all
repaired units
a facility enabling direct monitoring and
assistance from a resident Maintenance Technician,
The Holy Ghost.
Repaired
units need only make Him welcome and He will take up
permanent residence on the premises!
WARNING: Continuing
to operate the human being unit without
correction voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit
to dangers
and problems too numerous to list and will result in
the human unit being permanently impounded.
For free emergency
service, call on JESUS.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall
action will have to be scrapped
in the furnace.
The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to
prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention.
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